RN Mouth Moving Theory

Have you ever observed the interaction of an RN that believes his or her opinion or assessment of a situation is so spot-on-target that they cannot help but reiterate it? Over and over and over again? Beating it like a drum announcing their royal mastery of the subject? If you watch closely, you will observe the interactive dynamic of my latest Nursing Theory: RN Mouth Moving Theory.-

The RN’s mouth is moving
…but there is no response from the masses.

Their peers, co-workers, managers, newbie-nurses, students, doctors, spouse, children – hell, their own friends! … whoever is the audience at the moment just nods, but says nothing in return.

There is no eye-contact.

No dialogue.

No rebuttal.

No examples of agreement or disagreement offered.

There is no discourse.

Nothing. (Ok, there may be a nodding of the head, but other than that, there is nothing.)

Silence.

This should be everyone’s indication that their own mouth is moving AND NO ONE CARES.

They do not care what you are saying; they do not care about your opinions; they do not have a response because they DO NOT CARE.

Now, the typical loud-mouth unknowing RN tends to believe the silence stems from only one of two possible sources:

The ‘audience’ did not hear/understand the statement and proffered opinion the first time around or
The ‘audience’ is in complete agreement and is hungrily awaiting more words of wisdom.
If the default is number 1, the RN will continue to repeat him/herself ad nauseam – perhaps in a louder, more firm tone of voice.

 

If the RN slides-on to number 2, he or she will become energized and actively begin an entire soliloquy (a la Hamlet) regarding the topic du jour…still without a response from the ‘audience’. (Which, by the way, if you pay close attention, will dwindle rather rapidly; leaving a single sorry soul (usually a Nursing Assistant) sitting there, nodding their head, making no eye contact and completely paying absolutely no attention to the speaker at all.)

PLEASE, Ladies and Gentleman, ADOPT THIS THEORY!

If your mouth is moving and no one is speaking back,
STOP MOVING YOUR MOUTH.

The silence you are hearing should be deafening.

But, to be fair, the silence really does stem from only one of two sources.

The sources are thus:

Your opinion is stupid or
Your opinion is fucking stupid.